Lonely
Mood:  sad
Now Playing: DMB
I never thought having a boyfriend i would ever be lonely. Lonely as in a sadness resulting from being forsaken or abandoned, in want of compnay. That describes me. I cry sometimes because of it.

Talking
Mood:  lazy
Now Playing: Commercials
I realize you really love playing the X-Box.I'm happy you have something in your life that makes you happy. I have my theories on everything about that which makes Xbox so wonderful. HOwever I have concerns. We dont really talk anymore. Actually I talk alot, you not so much, at least to me.Most of our conversations take place in the shower or little fragments through out the day. This concerns me. I ehar you talking to other peopleabout things and I'm jealous becasue you dont tell me really much of anything. When you told me your mom was moving to ATL I was shocked.I thought I would hear about that after it happened or as an afterthought. So i ask questions. 1000's. You get pissed and still I ask questions. In my defense I didnt used to be likethis, sure Ive always asked lotsof questions, but Im inquisitive by nature. So I guess Im saying if you talked more(about anything!)I wouldn;t have to ask so many questions. Ive told you this but since you were high you prolly dont remember.

Background
I am 28. I live with my boyfriend, 20, in a one bedroom apt. We have been dating since Oct 2002. Wow cant believe its been that long. I started dating, we'll call him Casper, right after I broke up with my long time off and on agin boyfriend, we'll call KD. Everything was great in the begginng as things usally are. We didnt hang out all the time but I would see him at work some and as time wore on we saw eachother more often. We would go to movies, dinner, watch dvd's, various date activites, etc. Then Casper and I got into it one day at work and realizeed that working together isnt a great thing for us. He hated his job and took it out on everyone around him. So Capser found another job last fall. He also had moved into a house with a friend. That friend was a coke user and Casper decided it wasnt a good place to be anymore, so I let him come live with me and my roommate. It was actually the roomie's idea! So by this time (last fall) Casper didnt want to go out much anymore, especially since he had become poor being in between jobs. I didnt complain becasue I understood the situation. So we watched ALOT of movies at home. Then Casper got an XBOX. Cool! No. He also got an online acct and dedicates ALL spare time playing online. Not Cool. So now we go nowhere. really. We dont go to eat, the store, blockbuster, etc. I cant even get him to walk to the mailbox with me! So this is one reason why I am trying to decided where to go from here.

But wait there's SO much more.